Gods creativity

A combination of something one of the girls in my small group said and the fact that I'd been put in charge of the art elective which I struggled with- made me really relise and appreciate how creative God really is.
It's something you allways 'know' but don't really think much about, but now I notice it more and are completely blown away by it.
So just open your eyes and really look around at Gods creativity in things and people around you!

What do you do

What do you do when........
- a dirty old man comes up to you asking for money but the world insists your a poor traveling student with no money to spare.

- you see guys sleeping on the street but the world tells you, you don't have the time or money to help all of them.

- you have a young soldier looking for female company and affection but all you want is to listen to the band (btw totally fell in love with the lead singers voice- seriously the best cover band singer I've listened to- which is quite a few- also talked to him after and he gave me a free CD- go the honest flattery!!)

- on an hour train trip you have lonely person after person get on and want to tell you their life story but all you wanted to do is have a much needed nap.

These are just some of my experiences from a week in Sydney and I reckon Gill thinks I'm a total suck- whenever we get asked for something she butts in and takes over telling them we don't have anything and just walks off pulling me along- she rekons I've turned in Ned Flanders (which is prob true!). But as followers of Jesus isn't that what were suppose to do- I would have at least talked to them more and tryed to find out why they felt they needed the money or heard their side of the story, instead of just assuming they were in that situation because they're lazy or stupid.
Prob first need to learn how to stand up to little sis and mum. I'm supposed to be the older bosy one but thats the opposite in my family. And mum hates that I sponser a child saying it's the parents fault that they can't pay to feed their children. (even if it is the parents own fault why should their child suffer?).
When ever I get asked for something these are the thoughts which go through my head- which provides enough hesitation for whoever I'm with to take over, but is there ever a point (and when) where you have to think of your own needs first? My family have my best interests at heart but I wish they weren't always on at me- I know there will aways be poor and I can't help all of them but I can't do nothing either.

The Lost sons

Luke 15. 11-32

So often this story is referred to as the parable of the Prodigal Son, and yet there are two sons in the story, and they were equally lost. If we concentrate on the experience of the younger, or so-called prodigal son, we could easily miss something that may be of more direct relevance and challenge to us.

The lost-ness of the younger son is obvious. It was demonstrated initially in the form of a request which, in its socio-historical context, was tantamount to wishing his father dead. Jesus’ listeners would have been profoundly shocked. Yet despite this, and despite the dissolute lifestyle financed by his inheritance, the father never wavered in his forgiving love.

But what of the older son? In what way was he lost, he who had never left the father’s side? Jesus was carefully drawing a picture of a man just like the men whose mutterings had prompted the story (15.2), and they probably had just enough spiritual perception to realise it.

Note what fuelled the elder son’s anger. He had done all the “right” things. He had never strayed. And how he resented the father’s delight in the younger son’s return! With an extraordinary honesty Henri Nouwen saw himself in the older son: “…how diligently I tried to be good, acceptable, likeable, and a worthy example to others…But with all that there came a seriousness, a moralistic intensity…that made it increasingly difficult to feel at home in my Father’s house.” (“The Return of the Prodigal”, DL&T, London 1994).

Wonderfully, Jesus’ story tells us that even if we have fallen into the trap of the elder son, the Father continues to love us and long for us to enter into his joy.
-Steve Bradbury

It's a good point- being or acting 'perfect/good' with out love is not what God calls for- but God forgives us if we stuff up in this area and I reckon can use our bad intentions for good. Should we not do a good deed because we don't feel like it or feel love towards the other person? - I don't think so- but thats not an excuse and love is something we constantly need to work on.
Also think we often but too much emphasis on behaving 'right' or being seen to be good rather than helping others out and actually being good. And then, because we've used so much effort and energy 'acting good' we think we can judge others who we think are just lazy and selfish while forgetting the love side (which is prob the most important aspect of 'being good').

Doubts

Well, I've been offered a place for the Master in Music therapy course at the university of Queensland for next year- which is exciting, but I still haven't done all the auditions and interviews for the other courses yet. It dose mean that I won't be back at Monash next year though, and if I'm not accepted at Melbourne uni I'll prob move up to Brisbane.

But sometimes I go through doubts as to whether this is what I should be doing. Often get told about the lack of money some music therapist earn and how tough a job it can be, but I don't want a career just to earn money, so much of the stuff we buy is so unnessecary anyway often think we could all do with less money. So I'm determined not to put money first in my decisions.
So then it's just the can I deal with the pressures of the job issue. Grandma had an operation on mon morrning and we went to visit her today. The '3 hr' op ended up going for 5 hrs and there were a few issues, so she's in intensive care at the moment- but doing ok. She was quite out of it and kept forgetting where she was and so many drips and things going on. And then the doctor came and wanted to put another drip in her arm, but she was having problems with that so after a while decided to try her other arm so we decided to leave to get out of the doctors way. So we said bye to grandma and I glanced over to the arm the doctor had been working on. Blood everywhere, there was a nurse trying to stop the blood with pressure and paper towle, but there was still blood oozing out constantly. So much blood coming out of such a small person. Far out, I couldn't hack that. on the way out I was so close to passing out, and couldn't decide if I was more likely to pass out or vomit. Managed to do neither but I was so white.
Thought I was getting better with the whole blood thing, have been first aid person and deal with some pritty bloody situations fine but today got to me. But how would I ever be able to work in a hospital if I pass out at the sight of blood?

Spots

Gill's 18th today! and grandma's gone into hospital for an operation.
So I took Gill up the mountain to 'my spot' and then on to Olinda- and the lolly shop of course- yum!!
Have my fave spots both at home and near Balnarring where I enjoy going by myself to chill out and spend time with God or just read- sounds really geeky but find it so revitalising! But it was good sharing it with Gill this time- and she really liked it so might have to share it now.
As much as I enjoy spending time with people and seeing God through them and learning so much, I need to get out into nature and see God in everything around me.

"holidays"!!!

Well I've offically finished uni- but it really doesn't feel like holidays yet, because of all the interviews and auditions and tapes and application forms and reference forms and practice and related readings i'm having to do for the course I want to get into for next year. If anything it's worse- I'm getting so confused over all the diff courses and each want me to be able to demonstrate slightly different things in slightly different ways- that and Gill and I are organising a weeks trip to Syndey for me to do two auditions/ interviews up there. So that will be a mildly stressful holiday.
But had a phone interview this arvo with the lady from Brisband which I think went well. To one of my responses she said 'I gave a refreshingly good answer'- so even if she says that to everyone, it gave me a confidence boost!

Anyway, I've included my 'reasons for wanting to do music therapy' statement that I've had to send to some of the uni's if your interested. There's also some 'God' reasons which I didn't include in what I sent. Maybe I should have- but having been educated in secular schools all my life 'it's never been appropriate' to include 'religious ideals' so I tend to write my reasons and Gods imput without crediting him :(
Doing a subject at CCTC (church of chirst theological college) I had to learn how to reference the bible and talk about God stuff in an essay. Actually, I did one essay 1st year where I talked a bit about 'God's unconditional love- but that was a case study I did on a christian so it easier to include and related.
Anyway, here's what I sent-

Reasons for wanting to study Music Therapy:

For me, Music Therapy has been of great interest since I became aware of the profession about five years ago. Since then I have read and many books and articles on different techniques and possibilities of music as a therapeutic technique. Having also taken part in volunteer work during music therapy sessions at SCOPE (formally the Spastics society of Australia) and observed music therapy at Wantirna Hights School for autistic children, has only strengthened my ambition to establish a career in this area.

I have a great passion and desire to see and help people to develop and learn to express themselves to their full potential. I believe that music is an excellent tool in allowing all people, no matter what their background or abilities, to express themselves both to others and themselves things which they may not even have been aware of and thereby leading to growth in a safe environment. I have truly enjoyed and am excited by the progress the people participating in Music Therapy at SCOPE have achieved over the year I have attended. These sessions have provided them a new median with which to communicate with others and it is also very encouraging to witness how much they openly enjoy participating in the therapy sessions.

My reasons for studying Music Therapy are to learn how to properly and successfully provide people with a safe environment and the proper musical tools to facilitate people’s development. But also, I can see huge potential for further research in the area of Music Therapy which I would be excited to be apart of.

Linda Update

Lt. Linda went in for her op. on Wed and ended up having her feet done instead of her finger- so a much bigger opperation!
So in hospital till at least Mon and quite out of it at the moment.
Going in to see her tomorrow- so if you have any messages(- prob best to message or ring my phone as I doubt I'll check this before then) just let me know and I'll pass them on. Otherwise, I'm sure she'd appreciate any prayers at the moment!

Live Aid

Borrowed the 'Live Aid' (1985's version of 'Live 8') of Damo last week (for some 80's music education!!) and despite his warning that it was pritty graphic, I decided to whatch all of it (all of the first disk of 6 anyway) including the BBC news report from nov. 1984 on the famine in Africa.

Ended up balling my eyes out!! -not usually a big cryer and never in movies or anything, but something about this being real people gets to me- it was as bad as Oprha's sepcial on the New Orleans thing. It got to the stage though were I had to start tunning out and becoming numb to some of it- I couldn't feel for all those thousands of starving people - or I would have had to start pulling out my hair or ripping my clothes etc.
Didn't matter if it was over 20yrs ago- something about watching a 3yr old girl, with ever bone visable, dying is hard to take. Guess I could have turned it off but I decided that if this is what some people have to live through then the least I could do was witness it.
As for tuning out and getting used to it- is that a sin or a coping response that humans need to adjust to tradegy?
I guess in those situations crying isn't much good, you need to get over that and do something productive. Don't remember Jesus ever balling his eyes out, he just got on with it! But when thousands dying of stavation becomes so normal that all you can do is accept and not think about it thats such a numb way to be forced into living.
So if anyone feels like a good cry I highly reconmend the Live Aid DVD.

The good Muslim

Maybe, if Jesus told the story of 'the good Samaritan' (Lk. 10:25) today the story would be 'the good Muslim'.

Life as an Introvert

Got asked to make a speech at my friends up-coming 21st and it just reminded me how much of a shy, introverted person I really am. If I ever do anything outgoing- I really mean it and believe I need to do it/ passionate about it.
Couple of hours before singing at SYG the first night I was really starting to freak my self out and was going on at Keechy about everything. All she said was 'why did you agree to do it then?'. I reckon that was about the most insensitive and upsetting thing she could have said to me at the moment and I nearly lost it- but then I did think about why I did agree to sing (other than the fact that Nick phoned me at uni during a group project so I had to get off the phone). I said yes because I have a belief in musics ability to connect with people and to God, what else could connect and involve so many people at the same time? I love SYG and everything that goes with that and I wanted to help out and apart of that- I would have happily hidden behind a desk job but that wasn't what I was asked to do and I guess you could go on about using our gifts etc.
You would think having performed piano since I was 4yrs I'd be fine and generally with piano I am- but take me out of that comfort zone and it takes more effort and determination on my part.
Also think I work better in small groups- I really don't mind being in large groups and around a lot of people- I'm just more likely to happily sit back and watch everyone else but not imput much myself. Also don't mind having a leadership role within a group but unless I'm there for that exact reason and so make the extra effort- if there is anyone else with a more dominant personality I tend to not fight it and allow them to take over. Not sure it's such a bad thing though- we can't all be completely outgoing or we'd be constantly fighting each other for attention.
So I'd better start writting a speech because unless I have something I can read and a determined attitue- the 21st speech will never happen.