Doubts
Well, I've been offered a place for the Master in Music therapy course at the university of Queensland for next year- which is exciting, but I still haven't done all the auditions and interviews for the other courses yet. It dose mean that I won't be back at Monash next year though, and if I'm not accepted at Melbourne uni I'll prob move up to Brisbane.
But sometimes I go through doubts as to whether this is what I should be doing. Often get told about the lack of money some music therapist earn and how tough a job it can be, but I don't want a career just to earn money, so much of the stuff we buy is so unnessecary anyway often think we could all do with less money. So I'm determined not to put money first in my decisions.
So then it's just the can I deal with the pressures of the job issue. Grandma had an operation on mon morrning and we went to visit her today. The '3 hr' op ended up going for 5 hrs and there were a few issues, so she's in intensive care at the moment- but doing ok. She was quite out of it and kept forgetting where she was and so many drips and things going on. And then the doctor came and wanted to put another drip in her arm, but she was having problems with that so after a while decided to try her other arm so we decided to leave to get out of the doctors way. So we said bye to grandma and I glanced over to the arm the doctor had been working on. Blood everywhere, there was a nurse trying to stop the blood with pressure and paper towle, but there was still blood oozing out constantly. So much blood coming out of such a small person. Far out, I couldn't hack that. on the way out I was so close to passing out, and couldn't decide if I was more likely to pass out or vomit. Managed to do neither but I was so white.
Thought I was getting better with the whole blood thing, have been first aid person and deal with some pritty bloody situations fine but today got to me. But how would I ever be able to work in a hospital if I pass out at the sight of blood?
But sometimes I go through doubts as to whether this is what I should be doing. Often get told about the lack of money some music therapist earn and how tough a job it can be, but I don't want a career just to earn money, so much of the stuff we buy is so unnessecary anyway often think we could all do with less money. So I'm determined not to put money first in my decisions.
So then it's just the can I deal with the pressures of the job issue. Grandma had an operation on mon morrning and we went to visit her today. The '3 hr' op ended up going for 5 hrs and there were a few issues, so she's in intensive care at the moment- but doing ok. She was quite out of it and kept forgetting where she was and so many drips and things going on. And then the doctor came and wanted to put another drip in her arm, but she was having problems with that so after a while decided to try her other arm so we decided to leave to get out of the doctors way. So we said bye to grandma and I glanced over to the arm the doctor had been working on. Blood everywhere, there was a nurse trying to stop the blood with pressure and paper towle, but there was still blood oozing out constantly. So much blood coming out of such a small person. Far out, I couldn't hack that. on the way out I was so close to passing out, and couldn't decide if I was more likely to pass out or vomit. Managed to do neither but I was so white.
Thought I was getting better with the whole blood thing, have been first aid person and deal with some pritty bloody situations fine but today got to me. But how would I ever be able to work in a hospital if I pass out at the sight of blood?
posted by Mim @ 3:39 PM
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